Hanging on a line, waiting for a sign, smelling the scent of August pine

It’s a lovely afternoon in mid-August and my pugs are enjoying moving from sun to shade as we sit outside enjoying the breeze and the chirping crickets around us. My view of the backyard is blocked by my canvases – that is, my virgin white sheets of fabric hanging on a makeshift clothesline that have a long journey ahead of them. Will they be wall hangings? Quilts? Bookcloth? Or, abandoned good intentions on my storage shelf? I hope not the last one as I have next to me my art journal where I have some sketches and ideas ready to bring to fruition for these lovelies swinging in the summer breeze. The fabric, cotton, silk, rayon, and linen are washed (primed), and ready for some dye (paint), imagination (a haphazard plan), and some practiced skill (uninterrupted work time).

Today is an awkward day as I took today off, and all this week, to be home for the pugs as we have our bathrooms remodeled. It’s an awkward day because the workers didn’t show up as one of them had an emergency plumbing problem. I am known for my anxiety (worse than the pugs for whom I took a few vacation days for to spend some time with them), so how can I create my art, even think about projects when I’m worried when (and now “if”) the doorbell will ring to announce the beginning of the construction workday? It’s an awkward limbo status not knowing how to accommodate the workers and my studio time and I want to say today is a wasted day as I didn’t create but instead I managed to do prep work. This kind of busy work can be done anytime, usually in-between layers of paint or when I have artist’s block (just like writer’s block but with a paintbrush in my hand and my brow furrowed in agonizing creative pain).

I did mention it was a lovely afternoon outside and so with that I am grateful I am not at work answering phone calls and e-mails and being a problem solver. Wait, I’m still needed as a problem solver with my fabric projects. I think I’ll make some coffee, iced of course, and lament on my next step with or without the contractors coming tomorrow.

And no apologies for the title of this post, I didn't have my breakfast toast, I'll blame it on the rhyming ghost.

For inspiration

**Megan is out attending the Surface Design Association Conference**

The Art of Disappearing
by Naomi Shihab Nye

When they say Don’t I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.

Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.

Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It’s not that you don’t love them anymore.
You’re trying to remember something
too important to forget.

Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.

When someone you haven’t seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

It may seem I'm a bit busy.... but then boredom scares me

I didn’t manage a post last week due to my flower and herb garden-planting extravaganza. I took vacation from work to concentrate on putting in my garden since I don’t usually manage to finish this task until July comes around. But this year is different and I wanted a fully planted garden before June (and well, I got about 98% done). The Surface Design Association Conference is next week and the following week will be in a soy wax workshop by Jane Dunnewold, which I am very excited to attend not only to learn the soy wax techniques but to also be taught again by Jane who is a great teacher and has inspired me on my artistic textiles journey. So June will revolve around studio art and I can now look out and see my flowers blooming as colorful inspiration.

The pressure is on. There are so many things needing attention to in the next few weeks that I’m afraid I will not be able to give my full devotion to everything needing my attention. This is my life as an artist working a full-time job to pay the credit card bills full of purchased art materials.

On a side note: Over the past few days I’ve been working on a few items - even one that had to wait when we had to seek shelter in the basement for a tornado which thankfully didn’t hit my area. One of the thoughts running through my head during this was, will the paint I just mixed on a palette make a mess if the tornado hits us? And then through such an event when life could have been unexpectedly gone down another path, I am grateful for the road I am on as I chose it and I maintain it as hectic as it may be sometimes.

Creating

I had a photography instructor who corrected the workshop into rethinking what we do when we click that button on the camera. It’s common language to say you’re “taking” a picture but in the artistic world, Doug Beasley introduced an idea to “create” a picture instead. Now it took me a while to understand this new photography terminology but I used it today for the first time and it not only sounded good (try it, “I created a picture today” or “Can I create your picture”) but it was good to my art soul.

A simple walk to work turned into a moment where I stopped and saw beauty and decided to create a picture. It only took a moment out of my daily auto pilot walk from my car to my office building, a moment that slipped me out of the weekday dull routine, a moment to take time out and create something. And it made my day all the better knowing I used my creativity today,


“Taking” a picture conjures up thoughts of stealing, impolite and rude behaviors, and even possession of the objects in the viewfinder. But when a photographer “creates” a picture, the artist brings something new into this world for others to enjoy. So let the “creating” begin and let it be inspiring.

Something Better to Come

It’s been a gray week where a thunderstorm came on Monday morning during my commute to work. The drive may have been difficult but I had the courage to face it even though I wanted to stay in bed for a few more hours. As hard as some challenges are, something better will come and in the instance of that thunderstorm, I didn’t need to water my flowers that day. But then my request to spend a few more hours in bed came unexpectedly yesterday while a migraine decided to ruin my day.

I might not always recognize it but something better does come along and when I’m faced with a dilemma in my studio, I need to take this possibility into consideration. For example, I have this (cotton) book cloth I’ve been working on and it’s not cooperating with me, it’s not making me happy.


But if I were to halt every project when I’m not happy, then I have a very big problem. I feel the alterations with the paints have obscured the interesting dyed visuals. I feel I’ll need to make some additions specific to the length/width of the cover when the book has been bound.

Here’s another part of the same fabric without paint.


However, halfway through that last sentence, a brainstorm hit and I have a new idea to experiment with on my next project. Something better will come and it was just a matter of writing out the problem. And this is one of the reasons why I have this online journal; sometimes I just need to get a different perspective and a resolution to my block will turn up.

Waiting for the good things to happen

I’m going to share one of my favorite quotes:

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
~Alexander Graham Bell

This quote currently resides in my wallet on a little piece of newspaper I carefully ripped out years ago and it reassures my optimism and confidence in times where I feel nothing good can come in my life. When I registered for a summer conference in February, I was disappointed that I was unable to register for a post-conference workshop with the instructor who taught me surface design. Downhearted and mad at myself that I didn’t register earlier, I changed my plans for that week I had already had vacation time and instead planned on working independently in my studio. A whole week dedicated to the studio! One door closed, one door open.

And then I get an e-mail from the conference saying an opening for the class became available and I snatched that empty spot quickly! So, one door closed but it reopened to my fortunate surprise.

The Art Muse

Didn’t I just step on my soapbox and encourage patience? Well why can’t my creativity take a moment to consider a little restraint? There are times when my mind floods with ideas, projects, and inspirations and all I can do is stare into the distance and absorb everything. I try to jot down all these ideas and for the most part I capture the main ideas but I feel my muse teases me by doing this. And of course I can’t find the time to do everything, but hey, at least my muse isn’t ignoring me. I’m glad I have my artist journal with me…. most of the time.

The weekend is here and it’s time to get some work done from all the ideas I’ve collected. Keep me going my wonderful muse.

A Plea for Patience

In a fleeting moment, life can change for the absolute best or the horrendous worst and through our everyday motions I feel we need to learn patience for life. In every aspect of what we do every day, how we move through our tasks as well as the impact of our actions on other people, we need to demonstrate tolerance, be responsible, and show respect. I don’t want this post to stray too far from my art so I will say my studio definitely knows this patience concept: it’s always there when I need time to be with my creative self. And although I might feel bad about neglecting my projects for so long, I move past my guilt and begin working. I respect my art but I definitely need to be more responsible in getting in the studio more often than I currently practice. I mentioned before a topic of deadlines and I feel if achieving the goal was meant to be, then great but facing a deadline should also be a reflection of how I am as an artist and how I can juggle multiple facets of my life – and I also need to be responsible to my life outside of art.

In our time obsessed and demanding culture, it’s not easy to have patience; some may settle for the mediocre that falls into our lap because it was the easy way or we try so hard to obtain things that we forget to enjoy or explore the necessary experiences along the way. The saying goes: good things come to those who wait… but I’d like to say the best achievements come to those who work diligently. I know this seems vague and it’s meant to be so the though process can take its time to make your own personal meaning and connection. Life should not be seen as a hassle but rather an experience to build upon each day. We demand drive-through conveniences but what we need to demand is time to be human and be a part of society.

My plea for patience stems from a tragedy outside my immediate world and it made me focus on how life is so fragile. My best words of advice, or encouragement, are:
· be the best person you can be,
· continue on your journey with awareness of everything surrounding you,
· and of course practice patience every day because it’s not just a virtue, it’s a necessity in this frenzied world.

Changes

Whenever I heard the word “changes,” the mental jukebox turns on and David Bowie begins to sing:
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes

Changes are rampant in my world and seem to trip me up when I’m unable to adapt. But what’s worse is when I know change is coming and I completely forget to prepare. Yesterday I received an e-mail from the Textile Center advertising their world’s largest textile garage sale and they only accept donations yesterday and today. Well, I knew it was in April yet I completely forgot and spent yesterday evening fast and furiously going through my fabric stash and marking them for sale. Now that I make my own fabrics, I don’t use mass manufactured textiles anymore.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

It’s good to have change and I now have access to the storage area where my fabric was collecting dust and I get a tax deduction at the same time. I began collecting mass manufactured fabric with good intention on making quilts but I couldn’t make them because I was artistically blocked for some reason and I now know why: my heart and soul didn’t like the fabric I had in my collection. My apologies to the designers but I felt the fabric had no life to them in my hands. I certainly hope the fabric finds its way to a loving home and into a wonderful art project or quilt.

I, on the other hand, will be making an art quilt this summer with my fabrics. I just hope I correctly washed out the excess dyes or it will be an interesting quilt indeed and of course I’ll say I planned the blending of dyes to happen!

Sometimes life throws you a twist and you somehow end up on your butt bruised and bewildered. It's been a hard week which has greatly affected my ability to create art. I may be on my butt but as long as I'm here, I might as well get my sketch pad and start doodling on the floor.

In other words, I'm down but not out. I refuse to let obstacles hinder my creativity.

Rainy Reds

Untitled, a photo by Megan Kamrath on Flickr.

Vintage Fabric

Everyday Creativity

I recently took an assessment online and the result wasn’t startling although how I got there from the very business orientated questions was surprising. According to the assessment, my career alignment is creativity where innovation and creativity spark my passion in the workplace. And it also identified that I am usually seen as quiet and reserved in style but can be talkative when I’m discussing a topic or concern I am passionate about.

My non-art day job is currently filled with innovative possibilities keeping the spark going each day but the creativity part is a stretch involving resourceful ways in the business sense to resolve problems. I highly value my creative skills, which is why I try to utilize them every day whether it’s doodling in my artist journal or preferably working on a project in my studio.

And this is why I post the Monday Moments as I feel it is a small representation of what I view through my eyes. Perhaps I should begin a 365-day photo project on this blog. Creativity is important for everyone even those not working in an artistic career field as I feel it can help to solve problems from an out-side-of-the-box perspective. So let’s all go to a museum this weekend to break out of the normal and look at the world from a different perspective on the walls.

Monday Moment

Deadlines

Deadlines
Sometimes it feels like the only way I will get a project completed is if I'm working against a deadline. Otherwise my projects have the tendency to start and become abandoned due to picking up other projects. My stress increases as I notice the piling up of abandoned projects cluttering my studio and I feel I’m not a working artist anymore but rather a procreating artist.

One of my friends gave me a suggestion when I told her about my frustration over incomplete projects and she told me to get into the studio every day even if it means neglecting household chores. As much as I'd like to forget I have dirty dishes crusting up in the sink or the presence of my vacuum needing to get those cobwebs down, I cannot disregard my home. Hiring a cleaning service is not an option either as it's my responsibility to respect my dusty home.

Speaking of responsibility and the idea of this post, deadlines, I need to be accountable for my artistic progress even if it means losing a few hours of sleep. I have access to competition listings/call for entries yet every time I look at them, I freeze resulting in stalling my art down to a halt. With admission of my fear of deadline now out, it is my intention to create a deadline each week and this deadlines must be a completed project of some kind, something tangible, something I can be proud of to say, "Why yes, I did make this!"

I should not be afraid of deadlines as I need to embrace them for the creative productivity will be the result. Instead of working against a deadline, I need to work with it and I know I will be a happier artist (still stressed but happy to be productive).

Monday Moment

Recognizing Passion

Over the years I’ve experienced many highs and lows in my art process and through the numerous lows, I still find the passion to get out of my frustrating artistic sinkhole and find my art nirvana. The passion is found in the journey, the discoveries, and even the eye-opening tribulations which then influence me to another path and another way out of a dead-end project.

I was at a conference the other day and the key-note speaker suggested we can’t plan our destination because we need to experience each step in life to find where we are supposed to go to find our success. One door will open another and though artists often find themselves opening a door just to see a brick wall, it’s what some call a “character builder” but I see it as an opportunity to explore elsewhere.

At first glance, I thought it was odd to capture a series of pepper photos but Edward Weston followed his passion, perhaps after visiting a farmers market and coming across a table of odd looking vegetables, and discovered the possibilities. Weston found the inner excitement and explored the lines and shapes we take for granted each day though his camera lens. Artists need to be constantly exploring the joys as well as miseries of creative discovery and I keep a journal for all of my passionate musings (and unfortunate failings).

What about the suffering artist? I’ve had many tribulations over the years that allowed me to understand my limitations for example I know I cannot draw. My crude scratchings don’t even look like they were done deliberately messy and lacking all sense of proportion and I’m fine with that as I am focused on my talents and leave the drawing abilities to others who deserve my amazement. My greatest tribulation I have yet to conquer is time management as this stress not only affects my output but also my emotional well-being in finishing a project.

So whether an artist seeks a workshop to find or maintain the artistic passion, it’s well deserved for the creative soul. Even if the artist takes a few vacation days from a non-artsy job, it is the desire of every artist, including myself, to refresh the stale enthusiasm of her art. I didn't know it was such a cliched saying but back in high school my health teacher stressed this thought and it's been stuck in my head ever since then to guide me in life:
Success is a journey, not a destination.

Here is another favorite quote I keep in my purse:
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the close door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~ Alexander Graham Bell.

Monday Moment

Technology vs. Centuries of Craft

The recent technology engulfing bibliophiles are the electronic readers. Whether it’s the Nook, the Kindle, the iPad, or any other electronic creation, these devices are the future and this has made the physical book appear antiquated and clumsy.

I am a proponent of books as well as advancing technology but somehow these two should not be married, let them be good friends instead. I am a bookmaker and I love to make blank journals not only for the accomplishment of going through the techniques in its creation but also for the possibilities of filing the pages with creativity and inspiring thoughts. As I write this passage on the computer, the sense of achieving a thought-provoking post is limited by the typeface I choose. There’s nothing like the satisfaction of creating my own typeface with my hand on paper with the well-chosen inked or graphite instrument. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention the feel of the hand cramp of quickly jotting down a great idea before it ventures off into the Land of Incoherent Sentences.

The texture and smell of a book, unless it’s that horrible moldy stench, is a thrill to my senses. The weight and construction of a book are tactile qualities a slab of plastic cannot match. The heft of a collection of stories by Douglas Adams can prepare a reader for a lengthy adventure while the “Art and Fear” by David Bayles and Ted Orland, highly recommended to all artists, has an entirely different feel. I thought the 122 pages of Bayles and Orland would be a quick read but as I began to make notes in the margins and add my favorite inspiring quotes between chapters, the skinny book became larger than its shell. I love how books can change my expectation - and besides, making notes in an e-reader? Maybe that function will be in a next generation upgrade as well as the ability for authors to handwrite a personal dedication and sign their books… no, I don’t think an upgrade can adjust for this book personalization.

As I mentioned before, I am a bookmaker, a term usually needing explanation to some and it seems the more I need to explain, the more I think the bookmaker is becoming a lost artistic trade in society. I make the book fabric, the paper for the inside covers, design the text layout, print the pages, and bind everything together with a needle and thread. I used to think my craft was being overwhelmed by the factory glued spines and flimsy covers but now it is the e-readers that are pushing the traditional bookmaker into an abandoned corner.

Monday Moment

Snow Dye Days

Snow Dye Days
Winter is coming to an end soon which is both good and bad. I’ve recently became a winter enthusiast, formally an autumn aficionado, as I’ve come to appreciate winter’s solitude as the crack and pop of the wood in the fireplace warms the heart and soul during a peaceful snowfall on a quiet winter’s night. But as the thawing days of March are about to give relief to cabin fever (the wood pile is dwindling fast), it’s time for a fresh new start – not to mention the end of the six-foot high snow pile at the end of my driveway.

I was looking forward to this past weekend’s snow storm because I’m not yet finished with my snow dye kick. This might appear as if I have a snow fetish, but there is only so much usable snow for my dye batches. I’ve been feeling a bit greedy, or is it childish delight for my want, no, pure desire of fresh, clean snow to fall so I can begin a new snow dye for my fabric art. I never thought snow would be such a highly demanded commodity for my stash of art supplies.

The snow with the renegade autumn leaves, accumulated dusting of dirt and grime, and of course the road salt tainted snow all wreaks havoc on my dye batch expectations. After the dyed snow has melted on my fabric, I rather see the highly sought after unusual color striations and ethereal patterns dancing on the fabric canvas and not the funky, nasty looking dirt that accumulates on the snow banks of city streets.

I love Minnesota winters as it’s an opportunity to relax, metaphorically speaking of course as the snow shoveling muscles ache after every storm, and get ready for the busy spring when the garden dirt once again begins to breathe (I’m planning a huge bed of pink petunias to honor the color of the year: honeysuckle… but this will be another post). But if I can just squeeze in one, maybe two more snow dyes before the crocuses begin to bloom, I’d be a happy artist and I can then work on these fabrics until the next wonderful snowfall months away.

Looking Ahead

I just registered for my first art conference: 2011 International Surface Design Association Conference: Confluence. There’s excitement and anxiety at the same time about attending this conference of world renowned artists. I’ll be 36-years-old and wondering if I have anything to show these artists. Over the course of the next few months, I’ll be hard at work creating projects, no, finishing pieces to photograph so I can be prepared to show interested people.

With the conference theme, I hope to gather my annoying insecurities and let that flow into the wonderful artistic possibilities and settle on a plan for the future.

Why do I create art?

My fascination in creating art began in elementary school when I constructed a small rectangular ceramic pot with very uneven etched lines on the side. I then chose a wonderful purple glaze that created subtle hue differences through the etched lines. The ceramic pot, which included a lid, well a hat really since it just sits on top of the box, was chosen to be shown in a display case in the school district office. My wobbly looking purple pot with an odd looking lid chosen for all to see! Well, I can’t imagine no more than a few dozen people had a glance at it but it didn’t matter. I made something out of my imagination with my hands and it turned out beautifully, wonderfully wobbly in all the right proportions. And I’d like to think this little pot, which still sits on an end table in my mom’s living room for over 30 years, symbolizes what motivates me in my art career: possibilities.

This little blog, among the millions of other electronic journals, is my adventure into exploring artistic thoughts through posted writings and visuals to document all the possibilities I come across while creating my art.